There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Randomize
