Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
