I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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