Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
