What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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