Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
