do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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