Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
