If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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