No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
there is puke in my bra ... again
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
