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Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
