once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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