So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
