haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
