How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
there was a trapeze. enough said
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
