You're completely useless in the revolution.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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