so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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