we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize