I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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