I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
