yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think im going to throw up on grandma
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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