If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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