just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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