Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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