Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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