I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
