Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize