So drunk its hurt
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
