Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
