nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
