i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
