I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
