your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
