It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
