I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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