he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
