i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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