Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
