after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
