oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
