Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
wow bdsm is so cute
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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