so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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