This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
