I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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