break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
