I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
