my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
