My first STD was from a foam party
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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