do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
