exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
